It is typical that at some stage in life, a person will experience decreased desire at some point in time in life. This is marked by a decreased interest in sex, less engagement in sexual activity, and fewer sexual fantasies. It can be chronic (long-term) or episodic. It can be caused by a change in hormone levels, but could be part of an underlying condition, such as depression, or arise because of another sexual problem, such as erectile dysfunction and dyspareunia. Others may lose interest in sex because of the pain she endures during intercourse.
Although it is quite common, a decrease in desire could be indicative of relationship problems in some cases, difficulties with body-image, poor self-esteem, excessive alcohol consumption and anxiety. In such cases psychological therapy or medication should be considered.
Firstly, it is important to be honest and open with your partner about the situation, and you may wish to seek medical and psychological support. Treatment will depend on the cause; therefore, it is important to establish why the problem occurred, and what is maintaining it. Low desire could be due to various factors, rather than one reason alone. Medical issues should be excluded, and couples should be willing to look at their relationship and think about considering couples’ therapy. Couples’ therapy will involve looking at the relationship’s history and current dynamics, with the aim of better understanding themselves and their partner and seeing where change can be implemented.
Where to get help and advice
- Your family doctor – who may be able to offer some advice or refer you to a specialist for a review and treatment.
- A psychologist.
- Couple’s / relationship therapy / counseling.
Common causes of a low libido
- Relationship problems.
- Loss of sexual attraction.
- Poor communication.
- Trust issues.
- Conflict.
- Physical sexual problems.
- Erectile dysfunction.
- Ejaculation problems.
- Vaginal dryness.
- Painful sex.
- Inability to orgasm.
- Vaginismus.
- Stress, anxiety, and exhaustion.
- Depression.
- Aging and menopause.
- Pregnancy, birh.
- Underlying health problems.
- Diabetes.
- Heart disease.
- Slow thyroid function.
- Cancer.
- Major surgery.
Aging and menopause
- Lower levels of sex hormones (oestrogen and testosterone).
- Age – related health problems.
- Mobility problems.